Only in the Bristol Churches League...
My fifth season with Hope FC rolled into it's second week this-morning. It was our first home game, and a new venue. We now play our home games at Knowle West's infamous Filwood playing fields. Jonny and Mike might remember the grotty changing rooms, which have been burnt out by the locals on numerous occasions. They've now built a new block next door, which looks lovely except that all the windows are boarded up. Apparently, the locals smashed them in within two days of it's opening.
Anyway, I know I said I wouldn't write much about football on here, but this-morning's farce shouldn't take long to cover. The game lasted twenty minutes, until our striker James Taylor slid in on their keeper as he tried to clear the ball. There really didn't seem to be much contact, but their keeper was left writhing in agony on the floor.
We waited about half an hour for an ambulance to arrive, and while we waited some of the opposition started throwing tantrums. They reckoned that the ref, who wasn't qualified (in fact, it was Paul Owen's brother, Terry) had missed a lot of fouls earlier in the game, and that they "didn't feel safe" to carry on. Chew kindly volunteered to swap with Terry and take over as ref, which seemed to pacify them for a while until they realised that their only substitute was going to have to go in goal. Well, lets just say it was somehow obvious that he wouldn't be able to save a thing.
All of a sudden, their centre-back, who had prescription sports glasses strapped around his head, suggested that in fact, he still "didn't feel safe" after all.
The future of the game was balanced on a knife-edge, and patient diplomacy was crucial. James decided to make a suggestion...
"Well, if glasses boy doesn't want to play, maybe he should fuck off and you can carry on with ten."
And that was that. Game over.
Apparently, we can't even claim the 3-0 walkover from the league rules (when the opposition doesn't turn up or refuses to play), because it also states in the league rules that the home team must provide a qualified referee. Bugger.
I look forward to the rematch already.
Anyway, that's not the real reason I decided to write another football related blog. No, the real reason is that we finally had last season's 'player of the year' awards this-morning. Jonny won the award during his first two seasons with hope, and probably would have won it in his third spell too, if he hadn't gone and fractured his skull half way through the season.
Third place for the 2005/6 season went to John Bartley, who was the top goal scorer despite being a centre-back.
Second place went to Neil Watkins, who couldn't be there this-morning as him and Kath were finally taking baby Ben home. Fair excuse, I suppose.
First place? Well, I'm sure you've guessed (hence the real reason for the blog), it was me!
To say I was shocked is an understatement. I was convinced that last year's winner Chris was going to take it. After all, I can't head the ball to save my life and I'm crap at tackling too.
So, I now get the pleasure of sticking this not even slightly tacky, solid gold-painted plastic trophy on my fireplace for the next ten months or so. Obviously, one of the first things I did was to check the inscriptions of previous year's winners to see J. Arman's name. I'm very sorry to report that it was nowhere to be found. Manager Nick assured me that it was still on there, and came over to show me. He looked very surprised when he couldn't find it, in fact he checked each edge of the trophy at least three times, and then ran over to his bag to check whether it had fallen off.
For now, it seems to be missing, but the legend will not be forgotten. Hopefully, it will turn up.
posted by Andy @ 4:47 pm
13 comments
13 Comments:
Congratulations Andy.
Thanks for the kind comments suggesting I should have got three Player Of The Year awards on the bounce. Unfortuanately the fractured skull did indeed kick that opportunity into touch. It's a bit of a shame my name is also missing from the trophy but as you say, the 'legend' wont be forgotten. I should hope not! Maybe the church can pay for a new plate to be stuck on there. From memory Chewie and Big John's names should also be on there.
I wish I could be there for the re-match. Looks like there will be some tasty challenges flying in in that game.
And yeah, that pitch and those changing rooms are bloody awful. I thought your home ground was going to be Ashton Park school again this year? I also remember the automatic window device failing on Jordan's chavved up Golf when we last played there and him not wanting to leave the car in case it got nicked. I couldn't blame him for that at all.
But I do have that team picture nicely framed on a make-shift bookshelf (and the photo of me looking like I am about to spit) - my leaving presents from the club.
Nice tag-comments from Jonny and H there.
I miss the gentle humour of the Hope team and the sporting way we play the game - glad that hasn't changed - and the wimpiness of some of the opposition.
"Glasses boy". Brilliant.
Congrats on the player of the year award, Andy - you were certainly up there amongst the top few players back when I used to play.
The game I watched pre-season, however, suggests that you might have some way to go if you want to retain the trophy. In fact, none of the team looked particularly fit in that game. At least you didn't come off with blisters like Chewie did, though.
What a beautiful work of art that trohpy is (erg splutter cough)
Well done Andy, brings back memories of when you played trinity in cheltenham and I tried to support you whilst my friends whipped your teams butt! :-D
Was that the game we lost 11-0 or something? Didn't we have 9 men?
Perhaps that day was more memorable for the mission to Mansfield afterwards where Andy and I watched City win 5-4, having been 4-2 down with two mintues to go. That was an amazing game of football and one of the best I have ever been to. It had everything on the pitch and a spot of Burberry hooliganism off it. I seem to remember one of the Mansfield "fans" jumping on a City player.
Cheers guys. Lots to take in there actually - some questions and comments...
Lozza - Which church team is that?
Jonny - Ashton Park school told us there was no room for us about two weeks ago. I'm quite pleased though as the pitches are actually much better at Filwood. Yesterday, we played in the one surrounded by a railing. Obviously, there was noone watching.
H - No, I've never heard you mention that before (grrr)
Mike - To be fair that pre-season game was our first game for five months, and I had a cold. It was terrible though. We're much better now, honest!
Naomi - Thanks for reminding me. But Jonny's right, we drove all the way to Cheltenham to play with nine men in the pissing rain, and got stuffed. It might have been 11-0, I lost count.
That was undoubtedly my worst Hope game ever, but was followed up by one of the best Bristol City games ever. Just another emotional rollercoaster in the life of a footy lover.
Nice one Mr Simpson!
I am still at a loss as to how you manage to run round a football pitch for ninety minutes?! I always remember Hugh and I used to be amazed when we played/messed around on the Downs...at the time, I am sure you won't mind me saying, that you were not the healthiest of lads..rolls up etc (even during half times). Still, you always managed to run through the whole game when a lot of us were starting to drag our feet a bit.
Obviously a natural and now you have a big shiny trophy to prove it.
I reckon those lungs must be naturally large and a healthy shade of light grey!!
Haha. Well, even when I used to smoke I wasn't as bad as most of the rest of the team, who generally have a fag in their hand during the warm-up (often finishing it off during the pre-match prayer), and at half-time.
Chew and Chris were smoking within five minutes of Saturday morning's incident, basically as soon as they realised we were going to have to wait for an ambulance.
But yeah, I really don't know why I seem to have the ability to carry on running. Perhaps it's because I do as little as possible throughout the rest of the week, so have lots of stored-up energy to expend in one 90-minute period...
During the end of season curry back in April, manager Pete commented that I easily cover more ground during the 90 minutes than anyone else in the team. I remember being quite surprised by that, but realising that he was probably right (obviously the rest of the team don't run very much).
I am a couple of years younger than most of the team though, so maybe time will catch up with me.
Did you do a pre-season beep test this year?
Also, what actually happened to the keeper then? Did he really need an ambulance or was he just being a lightweight?
No bleep test this year - I forgot about that - you and John Bartley romped it I seem to remember.
Not sure about the keeper - He seemed in some pain at first but it was clear that nothing was dislocated or badly broken, and he managed to limp off the pitch with assistance after ten minutes or so. I think it might have been a metatarsal.
We sure did! Well, Big John me by a length, or whatever it's called.
Yes, in fact thinking about it, you blatently ran a lot more than me in the few games when you played upfront!
By the way, was it 'the sanctuary' that we beat 2-1 in the BCFA Cup preliminary round last season, up at Little Stoke? Or was it Bristol Sanctuary 11?
I'm hoping it was the latter, as I remember having a pretty nasty run-in with one of their players, and it might be one of Lozza's mates.
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