Beards and football

Comments on the recent blog entry about my beard opened an interesting debate on which is the more boring subject matter: beards or football. Personally, I could talk about each of these topics for hours without getting even slightly bored. So that got me thinking, seeing as I haven't actually written anything about football yet on this blog, why not combine the two? What could possibly be more interesting than that?

Jonny pointed out that the 1980's Scottish international striker Steve Archibald had a very similar beard to mine, pictured here playing for Spurs. To be honest though, bearded footballers are few and far between. I'm pretty sure that I'm currently the only bearded footballer in the Bristol Churches league.


Thankfully, there are a few famous footballers who have defied convention and worn their beard with pride. The first I could think of was the rebelious Brazilian Socrates, who used to go out boozing between games and smoked cigarettes at half-time, yet he still managed to be part of a world-cup winning squad. A shining example to all young footballers, and what a beaut of a beard too, especially combined with the mullet.

Actually I stumbled across a picture of this guy, who I think plays for Russia (given that his name is Tristanivanov). His beard is really very similar to mine, and he has also gone for a kind of straggley mullet look...another beauty. I'm starting to think that maybe the mullet is the way forward for my change of image. They clearly combine with beards extremely well, and I'd imagine they're very useful for avoiding sunburnt necks.

Perhaps the most famous bearded footballer would have to be the late and great George Best...

But who could forget Alexi Lalas? He was the heart of the USA defence when they lost to Iran in the 1998 world cup. Mike Roberts recently commented that people with beards tend to look alike. Well is it just me, or does Lalas look like a ginger Billy Connolly? Another absolute beaut though - I wonder if he uses a special comb for that.

Unfortunately, modern premiership players' beards simply can't compare to the examples mentioned so far. Nowadays, beards have become more of a fashion statement for overpaid youngsters who are trying to follow in the footsteps of David Beckham by changing their image every week. Take for example the ex-Liverpool player Abel Xavier. Not only have I managed to find examples of his changing image, but also further weight to the argument that bearded people tend to look alike...

Tottenham and Egypt striker Mido made a grave mistake recently in the African cup of nations. I'm not talking about the time he had a very public tantrum on the pitch when he got substituted in the semi-final (only for his replacement to score the winning goal within two minutes of coming on). No that I can forgive him for, even sympathise. But why on Earth would anyone go from having such a nice distinguished looking beard (on the right), to this abomination...

What was he thinking?