Cairo - Apart from the Pyramids

I was surprised to see that Cairo actually has a lot going for it, other than a few ancient pyramids.

Having said that, rather than properly exploring a city with a population of 25 million, we decided to do what just about every other tourist does. After a long day touring the pyramids and a rather nice sunset from our hotel window, we decided to go on a cruise down the Nile.

Out of pure laziness we allowed our guesthouse to arrange this for us. They informed us that there would be a huge buffet and belly dancers. "An evening of authentic Egyptian entertainment", they asserted. We were not warned, however, that it would take place on a 5-star yacht, and in true Bristol style we arrived completely underdressed for the occasion.

We also received no warning that our cab driver, also provided by the guesthouse, would be coming onto the boat with us and getting a free feed (and a free perve), but that might explain why it cost so much (as we were actually paying for four).

As you can see we had front row seats. This was the one thing that our 'guide' made sure of all night, oh apart from being the first in the queue for the buffet. He had obviously been there many times before, and had developed an interesting tactic of going for the 'sweets' first, and filling a plate with various cakes, éclairs and profiteroles. Sam, Ben and I sat sensibly sipping our soup, ignoring his crazy tactics. Pretty soon we realised that the sweets were starting to run out, and weren't being replaced. Thankfully we got there just in time, but it made me realise that perhaps we did need a guide after all. I made the decision to copy everything he did for the rest of the night.

While we were eating, we were thoroughly entertained by an Egyptian pianist (well, Casio keyboard player, complete with programmed beats) and singer performing a truly terrible rendition of Stevie Wonder's "I just called to say I love you" (which we were then humming for a week). The singer was Egypt's answer to Bruce Forsyth. In other words, he couldn't really sing but he kept tapping his feet, clicking his fingers and smiling excessively, in an apparent attempt to encourage the guests to join in, which we did. His charisma was simply too great to ignore.

The atmosphere was starting to hot up, and it wasn't long before a group of drummers graced the stage, soon to be joined by the generously proportioned belly dancer. Our guide turned to us and shook his hands with glee as she entered the room. I copied him (although I have to confess that she was a bit of a disappointment).

A short time into the performance, one of the drummers came over and pulled Ben up onto stage.

Sam and I sat there confidently laughing at Ben for his misfortune, especially as he looked like he was concentrating so hard to keep in time with the other drummers. However our smiles were quickly wiped from our face when it became obvious that participation was not going to be optional. Both the Belly dancer and the drummer were systematically going into the crowd and pulling out unwitting guests to either dance, or bang on a drum. The drummer had unveiled a massive selection of drums and silly little red hats, however this still seemed like a much better option than being made to dance. We both started praying that the drummer got to us first.

I decided not to copy our guide for a change, as he was still staring intently at the belly dancer. Suicide, I thought. Instead I started flicking through the photos on my camera in the hope that if I looked busy, they might both leave me alone. Suddenly a hand came over my shoulder and grabbed me firmly by the wrist. I was very relieved to see that the hand looked decidedly male (as somehow I suspected that the belly dancer also had a very firm grasp). Sure enough it was the drummer, and I was whisked onto stage. I took my place next to Ben and started banging away.

Sam decided to take the proactive option of getting up and taking our photograph, rather than sitting nervously next to our guide awaiting his turn. His tactic worked well for a while, however I think he might have perfectly captured the moment that the belly dancer finally caught his eye...

Yes, it was time for Sam's moment of glory! Unfortunately, Ben and I were too busy drumming to get any photos. Although to be honest I don't really remember seeing Sam 'dance' at all, more stand there laughing, while the belly dancer danced next to him... The official on-board photographer captured that moment perfectly though, and Ben and I persuaded Sam to buy the photo. Unfortunately, I have not yet managed to persuade Sam to scan and email it to me, but I'll keep working on him...it was a cracker.

The evening's entertainment was rounded off by a very strange spinning man, who just kept spinning, and spinning, and spinning. The very second that his performance came to an end, our guide pointed out of the window at the boat returning to dock, and quickly began walking to the exit. We hurried after him, thinking about the fact that we had not actually seen any of Cairo, which was our entire reason for going on a Nile cruise in the first place.