Are you going on Rita again?

It was by the law of sod that having experienced the warmest April since records began, the weather should take a turn for the worst just in time for Em's birthday jaunt to Britain's favourite theme park.





With hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to get hammered on the previous night. The cable car to meet Em, Chris, Sam, Moe, James & Nicky left Jess, Ben and myself feeling pretty queasy, which didn't bode well.



Not to be defeated we started things off with the old classic, the Corkscrew, which I later noticed rocks from side to side as the car spins around the double loop. I'm sure it didn't used to do that.

Just as the rain began to trickle we made our way to the park's other legend that is, of course, the log flume...



Em, Chris, Sam & Moe were in the log ahead of us, although the logs have actually been replaced with bathtubs. The principle remains the same though...



Don't sit in the front...



Spurred on by the face that Ben and Jess had remained completely dry on the tub-flume, we made our way to the rapids, which typically seemed determined to get Sam and Moe even more wet...







Chris, who had wimped out for fear of getting wet and ruining the upholstery in his precious motor, camped on a bridge and managed to soak Sam again by launching a vigilante attack with a bottle of water.

Jess remained dry...



With a little bit of help...



Ben had also got away Scott free, up until the last corner when a wave came straight for him. He leaped to his feet like a mountain deer at the crack of thunder, but the wave splashed directly into his face...



Of course, we also had to try out the new roller coasters.

Air was pretty good, especially the long downhill straight where the track spins around so all you can see is the sky as you plunge headlong into uncertainty.

I'm not getting paid by Alton Towers to write this. Honest.

Of all the rides, the ridiculously named 'Rita Queen of Speed' took the biscuit. It starts like a bullet, going from 0-60 in 2.5 seconds. As I was watching it I was wondering we everyone kept screaming as it accelerated away. Surely a bit of speed couldn't be that scary...



Needless to say I shouted my head off and thought I was going to die.

Finally, Yes we went on the Nemesis...



...and NO, I didn't lose my teeth this time.