Cairo - Apart from the Pyramids

I was surprised to see that Cairo actually has a lot going for it, other than a few ancient pyramids.

Having said that, rather than properly exploring a city with a population of 25 million, we decided to do what just about every other tourist does. After a long day touring the pyramids and a rather nice sunset from our hotel window, we decided to go on a cruise down the Nile.

Out of pure laziness we allowed our guesthouse to arrange this for us. They informed us that there would be a huge buffet and belly dancers. "An evening of authentic Egyptian entertainment", they asserted. We were not warned, however, that it would take place on a 5-star yacht, and in true Bristol style we arrived completely underdressed for the occasion.

We also received no warning that our cab driver, also provided by the guesthouse, would be coming onto the boat with us and getting a free feed (and a free perve), but that might explain why it cost so much (as we were actually paying for four).

As you can see we had front row seats. This was the one thing that our 'guide' made sure of all night, oh apart from being the first in the queue for the buffet. He had obviously been there many times before, and had developed an interesting tactic of going for the 'sweets' first, and filling a plate with various cakes, éclairs and profiteroles. Sam, Ben and I sat sensibly sipping our soup, ignoring his crazy tactics. Pretty soon we realised that the sweets were starting to run out, and weren't being replaced. Thankfully we got there just in time, but it made me realise that perhaps we did need a guide after all. I made the decision to copy everything he did for the rest of the night.

While we were eating, we were thoroughly entertained by an Egyptian pianist (well, Casio keyboard player, complete with programmed beats) and singer performing a truly terrible rendition of Stevie Wonder's "I just called to say I love you" (which we were then humming for a week). The singer was Egypt's answer to Bruce Forsyth. In other words, he couldn't really sing but he kept tapping his feet, clicking his fingers and smiling excessively, in an apparent attempt to encourage the guests to join in, which we did. His charisma was simply too great to ignore.

The atmosphere was starting to hot up, and it wasn't long before a group of drummers graced the stage, soon to be joined by the generously proportioned belly dancer. Our guide turned to us and shook his hands with glee as she entered the room. I copied him (although I have to confess that she was a bit of a disappointment).

A short time into the performance, one of the drummers came over and pulled Ben up onto stage.

Sam and I sat there confidently laughing at Ben for his misfortune, especially as he looked like he was concentrating so hard to keep in time with the other drummers. However our smiles were quickly wiped from our face when it became obvious that participation was not going to be optional. Both the Belly dancer and the drummer were systematically going into the crowd and pulling out unwitting guests to either dance, or bang on a drum. The drummer had unveiled a massive selection of drums and silly little red hats, however this still seemed like a much better option than being made to dance. We both started praying that the drummer got to us first.

I decided not to copy our guide for a change, as he was still staring intently at the belly dancer. Suicide, I thought. Instead I started flicking through the photos on my camera in the hope that if I looked busy, they might both leave me alone. Suddenly a hand came over my shoulder and grabbed me firmly by the wrist. I was very relieved to see that the hand looked decidedly male (as somehow I suspected that the belly dancer also had a very firm grasp). Sure enough it was the drummer, and I was whisked onto stage. I took my place next to Ben and started banging away.

Sam decided to take the proactive option of getting up and taking our photograph, rather than sitting nervously next to our guide awaiting his turn. His tactic worked well for a while, however I think he might have perfectly captured the moment that the belly dancer finally caught his eye...

Yes, it was time for Sam's moment of glory! Unfortunately, Ben and I were too busy drumming to get any photos. Although to be honest I don't really remember seeing Sam 'dance' at all, more stand there laughing, while the belly dancer danced next to him... The official on-board photographer captured that moment perfectly though, and Ben and I persuaded Sam to buy the photo. Unfortunately, I have not yet managed to persuade Sam to scan and email it to me, but I'll keep working on him...it was a cracker.

The evening's entertainment was rounded off by a very strange spinning man, who just kept spinning, and spinning, and spinning. The very second that his performance came to an end, our guide pointed out of the window at the boat returning to dock, and quickly began walking to the exit. We hurried after him, thinking about the fact that we had not actually seen any of Cairo, which was our entire reason for going on a Nile cruise in the first place.

Too close for comfort

After a very busy weekend since returning home from Egypt I had planned to spend tonight writing another blog about our experiences there, but somehow it doesn't seem appropriate after hearing the news that three bombs have exploded in Dahab. One of them, was in a restaurant that Sam, Ben and myself had dined just six nights ago. In fact we were there one week ago too, and had returned the following night because the staff had been so nice (and because they'd given us lots of free food). I was relieved to receive a text from my diving instructor Ashraf, to say that he and all the guys that work at Aladdin's restaurant are OK. Still, the whole thing has shaken me up a bit, and it now seems like even budget backpacker destinations are not safe from the eyes of a few fucked up extremists.

Cairo - The pyramids

It's really strange to think that we only spent two and a half days in Cairo. It seems like we were there for ages. I have just scanned through my photos and managed to pick out 22 that good'uns to upload to this blog entry, so I think I'm going to have to be a bit more ruthless. I can't imagine how Jonny managed, as I myself took over 100 photos during those two days! It has to be the most photogenic city I have ever been to.

We spent one day visiting three of the pyramid sites. The first was called Sakura and as you can see it goes up in steps. The one on the right is probably just a pile of rubble that someone built about 50 years ago. I'm really not sure why our guide decided to stand so far away from us to take the photo.

Second stop was 'the red pyramid' at Dahshur, which we were able to climb into through a small entrance about 20 metres up the pyramid. While I'm glad we did it, there was nothing to see inside but a couple of chambers full of rubble, and a completely overpowering smell of sweat. The pathway into the pyramid was about four foot wide and tall, and seemed to keep going forever. By the time we reached the bottom we were all exhausted (which would explain the feisty smell down there). The return journey back up the slope was even more tiring and by the time we got outside again Sam's legs were shaking under the strain (he then spent the next two days struggling to walk).

On the way to the Geeza pyramids we got conned into buying merchandise when our guide dropped us off at a 'museum' where we would be given free drinks. Of course this turned out to be a shop selling papyrus artwork for extortionate prices, and we were followed round by the owners who constantly made suggestions that we might like to buy this or that. We ended up finding the souvenir section and buying the cheapest things we could find, but the owners were clearly not happy and so suggested to Sam that he might want to buy this head garment from them, much to our amusement...

Finally, we made it to the famous Geeza pyramids where we decided to hire horses as it seemed like the best way to get around the desert. The scenery was stunning, and I took about half of my 100 Cairo photos during the two hours we were there. Here's a selection. As you can see there was something wrong with Ben's horse...

On our return to the camp, it was my turn to go on the camel. It was nice to be high up (and amusing when my camel decided to lick Ben on the back of his head), however our guide decided to make the two horses gallop some of the way. The only instructions he gave to Ben and Sam was to look straight ahead, and be brave, commenting that if they have a 'weak heart' they will fall off. He then said a couple of words in Arabic and the horses bolted. I tried to film them from the vantage point of my camel, but the video looks ridiculous as it was impossible to hold my camera still while I was constantly being thrown up and down. Sam and Ben have spent the last four or five days banging on about how galloping on the horses was the highlight of their trip so far. Great. To be honest I was quite surprised they could gallop at all, as they both looked about 120 years old. Apparently Ben's horse was wheezing and spluttering by the end, poor thing. The guide then came back and whacked my camel on the arse to speed him up. Of course, I had nowhere to put my feet to support myself, so with each step I was thrown about a foot in the air. I have only just recovered from the saddle sores.

Funky Onion 9th Birthday - Piccies

Funky Onion lived up to it's name once again for their 9th birthday extravaganza - Well, it was funky, and it made me cry.

Representing the Bedmo massive, we had...

Bev

& Rosie

Chris & Rich

The non-smoking twins

For those of you who couldn't make it, you'll be pleased to hear that many of our funky onion traditions were upheld. For example...

I was getting into the party spirit...


Sam was finding ways of being irritating...


And the dancing wookie was getting down and dirty!

(At chew's request, I have omitted the nipple shot)


Finally, Neil was saving his last sticker for someone special