NYE (Part 2): Coktails

Mr Legge spent some time studying the cocktail book on NYE afternoon, in preparation for a booze-run to the local supermarket. We pondered why just about every cocktail seems to have one completely random, but crucial ingredient.



After feasting on Wendy's cracking chilli...



...we assessed the cocktail situation and realised, perhaps predictably, that we were missing one crucial ingredient from every cocktail in the book.

We had a round of Moscow Mules and Bloody Mary's, which are surely only pseudo-cocktails, containing as they do just the one spirit. It was time for some improvisation.

Unfortunately, my first attempt was a complete disaster. Despite working in a bar for three years I managed to forget a very basic principle...

Do NOT add, even a SPLASH of coke, to any mix containing baileys.



I had to redeem myself.

After some consideration I reached for the gin, and half-filled a cocktail shaker. With very little further consideration, I added a splash of vermouth and a splash of whiskey, both of which had been salvaged from the spirits cabinet (and one had a copyright mark; 1999).

At this point I noticed that this foul mixture, believe it or not, is actually a cocktail in it's own right. It's a 'Smokey Martini', and the only cocktail in the entire book that we could make.

A taste-test revealed that it is without a doubt, a complete wrong-un.

Thankfully Rich arrived in the kitchen to provide some much-needed assistance. A plan was hatched to use the 'Smokey Martini' mix as a half measure, to be topped up with tonic and a twist of lime.

It was a winner! We tagged it the 'Gayboys' Recovery™'

By the time everyone had finished their first Gayboys' Recovery it was time to hand out the party poppers and champagne...





We had planned to make another cocktail by combining Guinness and champagne, to make a 'Black Velvet', which according to the book is the "...most tempting and drinkable looking drink in the World". Unfortunately Rich had bought 'Guinness Original', which is more of an ale than a stout, and probably wouldn't have been quite so appealing.

And Pose:



Once we'd got through the midnight rituals it was time to employ the food mixer for another homemade cocktail attempt.

With incredibly little consideration, Rich and I chucked in a load of baileys and vodka, and added splashes of vermouth, whiskey and soda water, plus the most crucial ingredient: one of Sam's banana's.

Again, it was a winner. In fact it really was very tasty, and made me realise that cocktail books are completely unnecessary. We tagged it the 'Gaylord's Revenge™'



The first round of Gaylord's Revenge went down very quickly, and I had to take my turn back behind the decks. I couldn't believe my luck when I was promptly handed another cocktail by Em, which was a slight variation on the Gaylord's Revenge in that it also contained dark rum and chocolate shavings. Yes, our third and final trademarked cocktail of the evening, it was indeed; the "Gayman's Pride™"!

Perhaps it was the combination of cocktails and painkillers, but Mr Freakes made the mistake of looking tired on the sofa, which quite frankly made him a sitting duck for people like Sam (who will always be able to find a missile from somewhere).



Although, to be fair, Mr Freakes did manage to muster the energy for retaliation...







Finally, with only four of us remaining we decided to have one last round of Gayman's Pride...



At this point I discovered the source of the chocolate shavings... It was a grated Lindt. Unfortunately on this occasion, the Lindt seemed to have lost it's grating potential by the time reached the fourth cup, so not wanting Bruce to go without, Rich decided to chuck the remains into his cup, which must have looked so appealing...



And the moment of realisation...



The night ended watching Sam try and pump up his airbed for about half an hour before he realised that all the air was escaping, and then spending another half an hour blowing it up with his mouth. My chav lilo, on the other hand, took about five minutes.

So there you have it. It was a fun night with plenty of silliness thrown in for good measure, shaken with a large dose of oddness and a twist of bizarre.

'Part 3: The Morning After', is coming soon!